Christian: This article is inspired by a recent trip to Mexico and the search for a palatable glass of wine. I know we were just supposed to sit idly by the pool and sip on tangy Margarita’s and lime-infused Coronas, but as wine dorks we wondered: Hmm, what’s the wine list like here?

David: I did find it quite odd when you asked to see the wine list — as did the waitress. She stared at you like you had two heads. The list finally arrived and the choices were very limited. We tried a Mexican “white blend” that tasted no fresher than sherry. The red selection was an imported Spanish Rioja that I can guarantee would not have passed for wine in Spain. I can hear the winemakers discussing their “swilthy” product now: “Wow, this wine is bad, we gotta get rid of this stuff … let’s ship it to Cancun. Who drinks red wine in Cancun anyway?”

C: It was an all-inclusive resort so we sat daily by the pool, Mojito in hand, and watched all of the activities. Pool attendants were constantly trying to get volunteers to participate in the daily water aerobics, the swimming “couples relay,” the water volleyball tournament, and a daily cocktail-making demonstration. We were eager to learn a few summer drinks we could make to impress our friends at home. We looked on because the main ingredient in the demonstration everyday was, believe it or not, wine. Aha, we figured it out! Just like the days of prohibition when the speakeasies used tons of vermouth to cover up the taste of their awful booze, the Cancun pool bartenders daily mixed their terrible red wine into sangria and their gasoline-scented whites into refreshing tropical cocktails. Who knew in Mexico you weren’t supposed to drink the stuff straight!

D: Inspired by the wine cocktails of Cancun, we set out to find our favorite wine cocktail recipes (wocktails). As Boy Scouts, Christian and I know that we always have to be prepared. So next time we find ourselves stranded on an island with nothing but swill, no worries, we’ll just make wocktails! Here are a few of our favorites.

C: Since you mentioned sangria, I will start with my favorite recipe.
Ingredients: 1 bottle of dry red wine, 1 lemon cut into wedges, 1 orange cut into wedges, 1 lime cut into wedges, 2 tablespoons of sugar, a splash of orange juice, 2 shots of gin (optional), 1 cup of sliced strawberries or raspberries, 1 cup of chopped pineapple (with juice), and 4 cups ginger ale.
Preparation: Pour the red wine into a pitcher. Squeeze the fruit into the pitcher, then toss the fruit in. Try to avoid putting in lots of seeds. For best results it should sit in the fridge overnight, but if you are in a hurry just use tons of ice. For a boozy sangria you can add gin. Or if you don’t want to be “stumbly” after drinking two, try it without gin.

D: I found this recipe a little while back. It’s a fun take on a wedding punch, yet not as sweet. Look out! It’s pretty potent.
Ingredients: 2 cups lemon juice, 1 cup brandy, 1 cup triple sec, 3 bottles white wine (dry), two cucumbers peeled and thinly sliced, 2 liters club soda.
Preparation: Pour all the ingredients except the club soda into a pitcher or punch bowl. Let is sit for about an hour, then remove the cucumber. Pour in the club soda when ready to serve.

C: That covers the red and white wines. Now for champagne and sparkling wine. Everyone has heard of a Mimosa. For an interesting switch try making it with different juices. I recommend filling your champagne flute 3/4 full with sparkling wine, then fill the rest of the glass with a juice of your choice. These days it is pretty easy to find some interesting juices at the store, or you can always get a fancy juicer and do it yourself. It’s fun to experiment. Some of my favorites are: peach, cranberry, blood orange, and/or tangerine juice.

D: Remember, not all wine is salvageable or drinkable. This column is about wine that doesn’t taste great— not about a wine that is spoiled, or corked. If a wine is really lousy, pour it down the drain. Sometimes not even the perfect mixers can save the day.

Christian and David Asam manage the 600-selection wine list and cellar at the Bavarian Inn in Shepherdstown. You can email your grape debate questions to David@bavarianinnwv.com or Christian@bavarianinnwv.com